Yuck

Cat-scan today. I won’t learn what the scan discloses until sometime next week. I guess I shouldn’t be frightened, but I am. I figure the recent weight loss and increased fatigue signal problems.

Problems….

Anyway, I went and lay in the machine with my arms above my head and kept still while I was being scanned and the technician and I hardly talked. That’s okay. I didn’t really have much to say and she looked angry.

I telephoned Lynne from the hospital hallway just to let her know I was done and she told me she’d been praying for me and knew without a doubt that I was going to be okay. I hope she’s right, but doubt it. I keep those doubts to myself though I’m sure she knows.

I’d planned to write today, but I just don’t have the steam. I try to read and can’t remember what I read from paragraph to paragraph. I could listen to the Chicago Cubs baseball game on my computer, but I just don’t care. I’ll sleep. Then later, Lynne and I will eat, or she’ll eat and I’ll make believe and then I’ll go to bed and she’ll be alone.

Some of the days are like this. There’s no real way to fight it. All I can do is hope tomorrow is a bit brighter.